Membership

So I just got home from the Easter service at Mission Community Church, and I am just so full of joy! I half-way rode my bike to church today and the weather was just perfect. But that is beside the point. I have held this bitterness toward church ever since a bad experience when I was young. I've been going to Mission for about 6 years now and I can honestly say that I've never truly felt a part of it, until today.

You see, at church I've always been a part of the student ministry, first in High School and now at Ember (college). In some twisted way, I think I saw my ministry as my church, not realizing that it was a part of some bigger entity, much bigger. So, I would go on Sundays and not feel a part of the big church as a whole.

Funny thing that happened this morning, I was worship in and asking God to pour into Mission and lead us as a whole church according to his will. And it hit me, that was the first time (that I can recall) that I referred to Mission Community Church as "us"...implying that I was included. Before, it was always "them" or just with a sense that I wasn't included. But, I am included and I'm so in love with our mission as a church to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with our God. See, even that statement brought bitterness to my heart at one point.

But today, Christ frees me from that bitterness. I will no longer let Satan harden my heart toward the church, the bride of Christ whom he loves. Rather, I will embrace the church body that Christ has blessed me with, and I will seek to dive deeper into the people at Mission. My first step? I signed up for the Core class. And after that, I plan to become an official member. I never understood the point of church membership until now. It's a commitment to serve and actively engage in a church. And that's what God is calling me to.

Now, where will this lead? Who knows! It could be serving in Junior High or High school ministry. It could be kids, it could be welcoming on Sundays. God will lead me there. Man, I'm just so excited!

I'm hideous, but YOU are Beautiful :)

We sang Phil Wickham's "You're Beautiful" today in church. Hands down one of my favorite worship songs. It brings me back to last Easter when we sang it during baptism. The song + Easter + plus baptism = a most beautiful and peaceful moment in time. What struck me today while singing the lyrics, though, was not each verse with such eloquent descriptions of God and the Gospel (Which is usually my favorite part of the song). Rather, what struck me most was the simple two words: "You're Beautiful."

Now, it's not the same beauty as is fed to us by pop culture in OUR desire to be beautiful to someone. No...it is a simple declaration that GOD is the one who is beautiful, his good and perfect design for all eternity is the only beauty that exists. I am hideously ugly, humanity is hideously ugly without the redeeming GRACE of God.

God, YOU are BEAUTIFUL :)

Blessed

I'm feeling very content today. I absolutely love Spring with the sunshine accompanied by a cool breeze in the air :)

Today, I am focusing on the positives. I realize that who I am is not measured in what I do not have but what I have. I've been so outwardly motivated lately; looking at other people and wishing I had what they had. Like the security of a special someone to spend my life with or a home/apartment to call my own. Wishing for more...

But today I see:
-financial peace through living with my parents
-a job opportunity for summer, doing what I love
-a Savior who is working on my heart in ways I couldn't imagine
-a passion for learning despite parts of unmotivation
-and a Christ-centered community to fulfill my need for companionship

God has put certain desires on my heart for a reason, and I just need to be patient and trusting until they come about. And in the meantime? I'm going to live life here and now fully content with the blessings before me.

Feeling so very blessed :)

I'll Fly Away

Running doesn't make pain go away. Escaping into fantasies doesn't make reality go away. Flying to far off lands doesn't make bittnerness go away. Isolation doesn't make fear go away.

Some things I am learning...some way or another you have to face life. The question is...are you gonna face it alone, or with the King of Kings on your side? Healing is a process, and old habits die hard....but they can still die. And within the gaping holes that remain, restoration occurs, building something beautiful.

"I'll fly away oh glory
I'll fly away.
When I die, hallelujah by and by
I'll fly away.

:)