A Hopeful Romantic :)

I have this week immersed myself in the far-off world of the 19th century English classic that is Jane Eyre. I am struck by the eloquence of the classic vocabulary and the romance of a simpler time. How I find similarities between the main character and I, and how I long to experience the love that attaches her and Mr. Rochester. It's a story of love and mystery, and I cannot seem to put it down. Somehow in my soul I cannot help but believe that this type of old-fashioned romance and courtship is still possible today. I wish to be captivated by a true gentleman through the admittance of flaws and the knowledge of true character. I wish also to captivate said gentleman with something more than looks can attain. Someday, though I know I'm not ready now, I wait patiently to experience such a love, one that is not forced by any outward circumstances. It will be true, genuine and as deep a connection as is possible in this world. Call me a romantic, but I will not settle for anything less :)

One for One :)

So I was looking at the tag from my new TOMS (which I use as a bookmark) and one saying that was on it really planted an idea seed in my head...the saying is "The One for One Movement".

This made me think, Toms shoes is all about providing someone in need with a pair of shoes with every shoe that is purchased.. what if we could apply this one-for-one attitude to everything else in life.

I'm talking, one school in India for every school in the US, one hospital in Africa for every hospital in the US, one house in Cambodia for every new house built in the US, one meal for starving kids in Africa for every meal you buy at chipotle...and so on!

Think about it the TOMS movement has sold over 1 million shoes, that 1 million people who have benefited from the simple act of buying shoes. Not only that, but it's become a part of the culture. I see so many people walking around ASU with TOMS on...

Now I realize the some of the things I mentioned earlier may not be as easy as buying shoes, but there has to be a way to expand the idea of one-for-one. Just think of what would happen if businesses and organizations here in the US stopped looking for more and more profit and started actively pursuing justice around the world. We could start with restaurants...that's easy. We all buy food. Then how about real estate companies? Buy one house, build one house. It can be done!

TOMS shoes = tomorrow's shoes
TOMS world = tomorrow's world

Who's with me?

Dreamin'

I'm a dreamer...always thinking of the possibilities. I dream of going to far off places and doing justice. These dreams have always been frozen in my mind as simply possibilities...reality always sets in. And what does the reality revolve around? MONEY. It always comes back to money...

Now, I sit here on the brink of a summer filled with possibilities that could actually become a REALITY! It could lead me far beyond anywhere I have been before.. mentally, spiritually and emotionally. And what's stopping me? MONEY. Again.

I have a chance to either spend 10 days in Fiji building houses and serving women who have had so much taken from them, but who have so much hope to keep going. And/or I could spend 5 weeks in Peru providing medical care to families in need by both serving them and learning skills that could potentially help me on a career path.

BUT, I am and always have been a dreamer, whose ideas never come to pass. It's easy to say and hear people tell me to pray about it or to trust that God will provide...and I know there is truth in that. But when the people closest to me present the actual reality to me and therefore don't support the possibilities...what am I supposed to do?

Motions

"I don't want to go through the motions, I don't want to go one more day without your all consuming passion inside of me. I don't want to spend my whole life asking, What if if had given everything? Instead of going through the motions..."

I don't want to go through the motions....but how can I prevent this when my thoughts, my actions, and my tasks in front of me are all consumed with school and my future...and things not from God? I know that all I am doing is to fulfill the passions that God has placed in my life, but if I lose my passion for God in the midst of it...then will it all be for nothing?

Help...I need guidance. I need a way to organize my thoughts and my knowledge in the various aspects of my life that require my full attention to remind myself of my reason to be here, doing what I am. I don't want to lose sight of my Jesus, but I feel myself drifting into the motions.

Draw Me a Map...

"Draw me a map that leads me back to you
I don't know where to go, please tell me what to do
Help me find the road you're on
I just need directions home
Draw me a map that leads me back to you

You're my destiny and destination
Understand my desperation - you
The only place I wanna be
So get us back to you and me"

Dierks Bentley, thank you. Thank you for these lyrics, though I doubt they mean the same to you as they do me, they really spoke to me and accurately portray where I currently am....lost in a forest of doubt with the light of faith seen faintly through the branches. I seem to have settled there, resting by a tree of complacency shadowed with doubt. I need a map that leads me back to the road I was on, back to my journey walking side-by-side with the one who saves and provides an everlasting companionship. Why can't I see? How have I suddenly forgotten how to move?

This post may be confusing with the overflow of analogical information, but hey, it's true. It's not like anyone reads this anyway...guess I'm safe.

To know and be known...

This passed thanksgiving weekend, my family and I watched a number of Christmas movies. Though I still haven't caught the Christmas spirit, I was completely delighted to just chill. Anyways, we watched White Christmas which I would argue is one of the best, if not the best, Christmas movie of all time. Though made in the 50s, it is timeless. The superb dance numbers coupled with fanntastic music and an overall homey feeling make this movie one of the best. We recently got the special anniversary edition complete with a commentary by Rosemary Clooney as well as a number of behind the scenes stories.

What really struck me though were the individual segments of the back stories of Rosemary Clooney, Bing Crosby, and Danny Kaye. They interviewed friends and family members to tell the real aspects of their lives. Immediately my view of them had changed, for the better. Rosemary Clooney had a quaint house in Kentucky overlooking a river which she used as a peaceful escape from the craziness of Hollywood. Bing Crosby had a heart for soldiers overseas, giving out free records to soldiers and donating millions of dollars to the war effort. And Danny Kaye, the goofball that he was, dedicated much of his life to the UNICEF movement, relating to children around the world through comedy and fun that went beyond any language barriers. Think Angelina Jolie and other present-day celebs are "do-gooders"? Well this guy was the original celebrity humanitarian.

I know what you're thinking, so these people had lives, big deal. What does that have to do with anything? My point is this, they had lives and it has everything to do with anything. You see, until I watched these bonus features, the only image I had of these actors was what I saw in the film. For all I knew, they were just the characters in the movie who randomly broke out in song (which I wish happened more often in life). But now, I know that they each had a story to be told, and I feel like I have a piece of their legacy, a piece of them now in my memory and a part of my existence.

Everybody has a story. Celebrities, the person sitting next to you at the coffee shop or walking passed you at school, they all have a story. I feel like I am so often caught up in my own story that I fail to find others' stories. But, I think learning other people's stories is the best way to get passed our own previous conceptions of them and move into their truth. And in that process, we are able to love more freely.

My mind is full right now as I try to wrap my head around the fact that there are 6 billion people on the planet, each with their own story to tell. And each of their stories are intertwined with hundreds if not thousands of others, creating this web that is the world. People's stories also connect the past, present and future to create this beautiful story of the existence of the world, a story that is written by God. One that is not constrained by limits of time, but just is. Now my mind is lost out there, somewhere trying to see the big picture which my brain will never have the capacity to know and understand. I'm rambling I know, but just make an effort to know people, I mean really know them, before it's too late.

Awkwardly Associated Affairs...

Do you ever have a random occurence of memories? Like something triggers something in your mind to race back in time to relive a specific moment. The trigger could be a smell, a sound, or even a place. Regardless of what initiates it, the result is the same: full momentary immersion in the past, either good or bad.



I had a moment like this last Friday while listening to the Phil Wickham sing-along CD; the song...Beautiful. No really, not only is the song beautiful, but that's the name of it too ;) I don't know why but this song brought me back to last year. Ironically, it wasn't Easter, which I would have thought because last Easter was truly spectacular. (If you didn't know, it was baptism Sunday where two lovely friends, Aubrie and Trinity, were baptised. They played two of my favorite Phil songs and beautiful was one of them. It had been the first time in a long time previoiusly that I had truly experienced God's peace and joy). Anyways, I was not brought back to that, nor was I brought back to long car rides with Jesus, at least not initially. No, I was immediately surrounded by a specific smell, I think it was a sugar cookie candle (or some other candle), the smell of my apartment last year. I think this song reminded me of the apartment because I had gotten in the habit last year of taking study breaks to dance around my apartment, and this song as beautiful as it is aloud me to truly destress as I moved around the living room.

Sadly, however, this brief moment of peaceful reminiscence was quickly overshadowed by the memory of the silent suffering that plagued my existence last year. I was reminded of how quickly fear, doubt, and insecurity can consume my thoughts. The minute I start thinking that way is the minute that negative thoughts start popping up at an exponential rate.

Now, I am going to use a Harry Potter analogy (because that has been the world I've been lost in for the passed week). So, if you are anti-Potter feel free to skip this paragraph. Anyways, in the 5th book, Harry starts having dreams that connect him to the bad guy Voldemort. At first, he is scared of them, not knowing what they are. However, soon he starts not only accepting these negative visions, but believing they are true. It even gets to the point where Voldemort uses these negative thoughts to trick Harry and ultimately consume him. It is not until Harry gathers up the strength to remember the positive moments in life that he can finally cast our Voldemort's thoughts. See video below (towards the middle) to see Harry being possessed....



My point is, without the restoration that Christ has brought me through recent months, I would still fall victim to the all-consuming thoughts of insignificance. I'm not saying that I have happy, positive thoughts all the time, but I am just seeing the growth that has taken place in my life since last Winter. Life's still a struggle (in the words of Miley Cyrus "Life's a climb" haha) but to have peace through it all, that's what God has changed within me.

Now, my only fear is that this peace has brought complacency. Or worse, that is has simply buried my doubt deeper, just waiting to come back. But all I know is that I need not worry about that, for I have Jesus on my side to forever be my hope and strength. It may sound cliche, but I don't care. It's the truth, simple as that.



Peace :)