Stop...

"Slow down and pace yourself, cuz when it's good yeah it's a long open road"

Kudos to Teddy Geiger for being my favorite future husband and musician. If you haven't heard of him, look him up :) That quote is from one of his songs. I drove home from Queen Creek tonight on surface streets alone, mainly Ellsworth if you wanted to know. Oh and thats at least fifteen or twenty miles if you didn't know. The reason? The night is beautiful :) I can smell the rain in the air, I can feel a slight breeze, and it is a perfect 80 degrees out. I could not bare to let it go to waste. I don't ever leave my windows down on the freeway because it is really loud and it lowers your gas mileage. So, I drove surface streets all the way home with my windows down.

You must know that I never drive with the windows down, at least not all the way down. I think this was the first night I had them down all the way and let my arm fly out the window. You know the feeling of resistance you feel when you put your hand out the window? You know, your hand immediately gets pushed back with the resistance of the wind. It's almost as if the wind is pushing you back or telling you to go back.

I was thinking about it, and maybe the resistance is telling you to slow down. I mean my arm did start to hurt as I was flying down the road. Maybe on the road you are on in life, the wind is pushing you back. You feel as if it is a bad thing, telling you to look back and dwell on the past which fills you with an immense feeling of regret. But maybe, just maybe the resistance you feel isn't meant to hold you back, maybe it isn't telling you to look back. Maybe, life is telling you to slow down, to enjoy the moment and the place you are at in your life. It's telling you to roll down the windows and experience the fresh air around you. It's telling you to find peace in the moment amidst the high speed drive that we find ourselves on.

I encourage you, to step outside, to fully experience the moment your are in right now. Because before you know it, it will be gone. There will be no other July 22nd, 2010 ever again. Experience the present, be here, be now. Slow down and find peace.

Somehow I found it today driving with my windows down and blasting my classical music (the score of the movie of my life). There is a long open road ahead of you going to who knows where. Enjoy the road, take your eyes off the destination and enjoy the road. Feel the wind telling you to slow down, pace yourself.

Peace :)

Denver!

So I realize it's been a while since I blogged, but oh well. I am contemplating deleting my blog in general, but for now, I will share some highlights of my trip to Denver as I just moved my sister to her new humble abode!

1) truck stops- We spent about 45 min to an hour sitting at a truck stop trying to figure out why the moving truck's check engine light was on. I sat and read for my online class...other than that it was pretty uneventful. Moral of the story: TRUCK STOPS ARE BORING!

2)shaved cats- My aunt and uncle got their cats groomed for the summer and they literally shaved everything but their heads and feet. They looked like little lions with Ugg boots! haha so cute. Moral of the story: CATS SHOULD KEEP THEIR FUR

3) Ralph Snooze Coffee Guy- There was this really good looking guy at this delicious breakfast restaurant called snooze. He was wearing a Ralph Lauren shirt and I accidentally cut in front of him in the coffee line. You know me though, I have to have my coffee or I don't function, and clearly I don't notice when people are in line....that's ok, he was nice and let me go anyway. Moral of the Story: COFFEE ALWAYS WINS!

4)rain: Rain is cool! Me and my sister rode bikes to downtown Denver on 4th of July and walked around 16th street mall. Then, the skies opened up and rain started to fall (name that movie quote). As everyone rushed from the streets into the covered stores nearby, I was perfectly content standing on the bridge we were on, looking at the beautiful city, in my sister's borrowed camoflage tee and letting the water hit me. As I would look up at the sky, I could see the drops coming right towards me (and eventually hit my eyes, not the best idea), and I was perfectly content. Moral of the story: LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS, IT'S ABOUT LEARNING TO DANCE IN THE RAIN :)

5) Surrey bikes- Rode around Washington park on a surrey bike, you know the ones that hold like 6 people? So much fun, we felt like we were on display. Moral of the story: ANYONE CAN BE COOL IF THEY HAVE A SURREY ;)

6)Biff it- Both my sister and I totally biffed it off of my Aunt's bike that we borrowed. We literally just fell like a tree being cut down, like plop on the ground out of nowhere haha... Moral of the story: SENSITIVE BREAKS + FEET STRAPS ON THE PEDALS= KERRR---PLOP!!

7)Scenic drives with my Uncle- Moral of the story: COLORADO IS BEAUTIFUL!

8) British accents are cool- So, my chain broke on my bike, and as me and my sister were stranded trying to fix it, a nice couple with British accents walked up! They were really from New Zealand, but they were the nicest couple ever! The man helped us get the chain back on, and the lady was prepared with hand wipes so we could wash the nasty black stuff off our hands. They were so cute, visiting their son and his "wee baby" (said with an accent). Moral of the story: BRITISH ACCENTS REALLY ARE THE COOLEST, AND THE PEOPLE ARE COOL TOO :)

9)Early flights suck- So I booked a 6am flight home thinking, Oh yes I can get home and still be able to work. Clearly it did not register that I would be getting up and leaving by 4:15 am to get to the airport....well I look at my phone when I wake up and it's 5am! One hour before my flight left and it took 30min to get to the airport. So I rush to the airport with 25min til my flight left...Sadly, even though I already checked in, they wouldn't print my boarding pass. Even if I did have my boarding pass, there's no way I would have made it through security in time...So they put me on stand-by. So here I am, sitting in the airport waiting and hoping that somebody goes through my exact situation so I can get on the full flight home. Ironic huh? Moral of the story: NO EARLY FLIGHTS, NO MATTER HOW INVINSIBLE YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU WILL ALWAYS SLEEP TOO LATE!

Anyways, those are the highlights of my trip. All in all, it was a good one, and as much as I am excited for my sister starting her life, I will miss her terribly! I love you, sister and wish you best of luck in CO :)

Avatar

Just got done watching Avatar with my parents. (Yes, I have nothing better to do on a Friday night than hang with my parents...I love them, but still)...Not that I'm hear to wallow in self pity, on the contrary, I think deep down there isn't any other way I would have like to spend the first night of my weekend. I think the only reason why I would be wallowing in self pity is because of the pressure people put on the weekend as a time to get out, THEY see it as pity, I see it as relaxation :)

Anyway, now that I wasted a paragraph on that, let me get to Avatar. I personally think it is a pretty bomb movie. It's one of those movies that leaves you with a feeling... I don't know how to describe the feeling, but I get it sometimes after watching movies. It's, in a way, an uplifting feeling, a sense that all is right with the world. Now, this feeling from Avatar can be a result of several things (1) the spectacular, beautiful creation that is that land that they live in (2) the triumphant victory between of good over evil (3) the overall deep and peaceful connection the creatures have with their world and eachother.

I could go on, but I just realized that I'm extremely tired.... basically my point is how often I find myself wrapped up in another world, a world of ideals, filled with disappointment when those ideals never come true. Why not live in the present? Accept life's imperfections and love life more for it... Christ does that for us, He loves us despite our numerous failures. Why can't we have the same respect and love for the life He has given us? Why must we flood our heads with the false realities seen in movies? When did we let the ideal of someone else's life, someone else's story cloud our perceptions of our own life? These questions are generalized...but they are really directed at myself.

Flying in an airplane...

So as I sit here at starbucks drinking my quad-shot venti caramel machiatto that I got for free :) I am attempting to do some much needed self reflection, but all the comes to mind is a Barney song that makes me think of the little girl I work with. The song goes like this...



"Flying in an airplane, looking out the window

watching the clouds go by..

Flying in an airplane, looking out the window

up so very high..."



So Miya sings this every time we are playing outside and an airplane flies overhead (it's so cute!). Ironically, I think this is the only song that can accurately begin to express where I have been for the last month and a half or so. You see, I feel like I have just been watching the clouds in my life go by, like yes my physical body is here in the present, but my mind is in the clouds just watching the time pass. I'm just up in the air disconnected from the world that I've known, flying in circles with no direction.



April came and went, May is almost half way gone...all the while the clouds were passing by. I've been spread too thin, putting my faith in the clouds. The clouds change, the clouds dissappear, they aren't reliable. I've been left with nothing but blue sky, empty and lost. I want to begin my descent back to reality, back to the core of who I am, back to Christ. I want to be present in this world, living for the sole purpose of Christ. May this summer be one of discovery, one of change, one of growth. May I reach my destination with a successful landing. May He welcome me with open arms as I get off that airplane, and may He remind me that He had been in the cockpit, flying my plane the entire time, never leaving my side.

The Wrist of an Artist...

Blah blah blah...i am really bored in class right now. Just one week and this will be over! Hooray for summer :) Anybody else excited? I am, super stoked! (yes i just said "stoked") did i say i was bored? we are learning about practicing in my motor development class at the moment...guess what? IT'S COMPLEX!! Haha the conclusion of every one of his lectures basically says it's complex, and that it is...that it is...d



So how to study? We shall see, but it will be complex...you can be sure of this.



Well did i mention i am bored? yeah....so i will now tell you my finals schedule



Thurs 7:30am--ANATOMY!!

Fri 7:30am--PHYSICAL ACTIVITY PSYCH!!

Fri 4:50pm--ACCOUNTING!!

Mon 9:40--MOTOR DEVELOPMENT!!



Should be fun, i have a schedule for studying...we shall see if I stick with it. Did I mention I am bored? You must be bored too if you are still reading this pointless, waste of time post. Let's be bored together!



I am hungry...bored and hungry...i need some food, DESPERATELY!! I wish we could like virtually eat, you know like overthe internet and the food just comes out our computer? Ha wouldn't that be sweet?



Are you still reading this?! Get a life! Haha, I think I should too...or maybe I should pay attention in school. But did I mention I cannot wait until summer?! Just a week away!! It's like the final stretch of a race...motivation where are you?



Ok, I'm out...sorry to be uninteresting and uninspired....



PEACE!!

(By the way, did you think the title sounded inspiring? haha tricked ya!)

Birdcage Religion

"Who I've sworn to be

a promise in pencil

that years have made so hard to read.

I've spent my life building walls

brick by brick and bruise by bruise...

a birdcage religion that whispered me to sleep.

but time is spinning silk

that coils ruthlessly;

with the devil's patience,

it binds my hands so quietly

that soon it becomes a part of me

so soften these edges and straighten out my tie.

and help me remember

the hope that I have compromised

Please be a broken record for me"

Sleeping at Last Song "Birdcage Religion"

These guys are really good, you should check them out if you haven't yet! Anywho, I got their CD on Friday at a concert I went to, and the song above really hit me...it pretty much explains exactly what I have been feeling for the passed few days.

Let's take this line by line...lines 1-3:

"Who I've sworn to be, a promise in pencil, that years have made so hard to read."

The promise I have made to God...a promise to make Christ the center of my life, to actively follow His teachings and truth...a promise to give of myself freely as Christ gave His life for me, with a humbleness only counteracted by the fulfillment of Christ in my life...not of works, but of GRACE... Is this promise temporarily written in pencil? Has it been distorted throughout my life as I constantly work to fulfill my selfish desires? Unfortunately...YES...

Lines 4-6:

"I've spent my life building walls, brick by brick and bruise by bruise...a birdcage religion that whispered me to sleep."

Somewhere along the line, I think most of my life in fact, I have built walls. These are walls that separate me from the outside world, walls that I have put it place to be my safety net. It is, in a way, my own personal defense I have made for myself so that I no longer experience hurt in times of trouble. It's my birdcage, keeping me safe from harm but at the cost of an immense feeling of isolation and loneliness. Also, when I think of a birdcage, I think of the ultimate purpose of it. Not only does it keep a bird in a safe environment, but it also serves to put the bird on display. Thus, it follows that "birdcage religion" would be (a) building up walls, keeping others from coming in (b) saying or doing what you think is right because that's what you feel you are supposed to do, because you are on display and under the scrutiny of others. Like the song says, it is very easy to fall asleep, to simply rest in the works of it all as well as the isolation as a result of the walls. We can be asleep for so long and not even realize it. I've been asleep. Now that I've woken up, I am struck by an enormous sense of guilt and disgust at my ugly heart. It's like I've woken up, but I haven't been able to get out of bed. Do you know that feeling? You just want to snooze for a little while longer.

I've been feeling disconnected from God the last few days. I know the answer of how to fix it, seek after Him, jus give it to God. "Let go and let God"... but saying it and knowing it is a lot harder then stepping out of bed and doing it.

Now for the rest of the song, lines 7-15:

I don't want to be bound anymore by the devil wasting my time. I don't want to live my life asleep, I want to be alive and moving and doing...I pray the God will indeed restore the hope that I have compromised within myself, within these walls. Somehow, some way I want this to happen, even if it's like a broken record.... I saw this little boy on the lightrail this morning. He was trying to get his mom's attention, so he said her name over and over and over. The mom was busy listening to her ipod and texting on her phone, but she never actually gave her son the attention he deserved. I don't want to be that mother. I don't want to be so distracted that I won't listen to the constant call of Christ in my life. He is like the little boy, continuously calling my name, waiting for me to listen and respond...maybe that's what it will take to get me out of bed, the broken record of God's call...I pray that I will be able to listen.

Allergies...

There is this song on the Elizabethtown soundtrack that has this lyric that always makes me stop and think... the song is "Words" by Ryan Adams and the lyric is this: "If everybody is grateful, how come nobody is satisfied?"

I think this is so true. We all can say we are grateful, we all may actually be grateful, but can we say that we are truly satisfied?

Consider this: I heard somewhere something I know to be true reguarding allergies. Truth: people in third world countries do not have allergies. Now, I am no scientist but from what I heard (an unreliable source since I do not remember where I heard it from), I think it is because people in third world countries are already fighting off disease. Their bodies are so consumed with fighting life-threatening diseases that they have no room for allergies. So, we in the thriving community that we live in have the resources to fight against those major diseases, yet our bodies still search for something else to fight off...allergies. So, our bodies are not satisfied with just being healthy, its like we unknowingly have a natural discomfort and discontentedness with reguards to health.

I feel like growing up in a Consumeristic (yup I just made up that word) society, I have found myself seeking gratification in certain things here on Earth. I will call these my "allergies"; these are things I seek after despite the blessings I already have. What are your allergies? They aren't just material things either, it could be something we are looking forward to. Like, if are dissatisfied with the situation we are currently in, just looking for the day when X, Y, or Z happens, then X, Y, and Z are our allergies. These allergies are what plague our society and create the dissatisfaction, thus resulting in our search for more....

What if we were satisfied through the Lord? Psalm 107:9 says "For He has satisfied the thirsty soul, and the hungry soul he has filled with what is good." I would love to say that I am satisfied 100% of the time through Christ, but I am not. So many times I find myelf looking in a different direction. Sure, it's easy to be satisfied in the good time, but what about the hard times? I think that is when we are most suseptible to allergies in life.

To sort of finalize my thoughts, I think it all comes down to humility. If we humble ourselves in the sight of the Lord, He will fill us up again and satisfy our needs. Only then will our hearts be completely satisfied. Now talking about it is one thing, doing it is another. My allergies are bad this season, what will I do to fix it?

Peace :)