Awkwardly Associated Affairs...

Do you ever have a random occurence of memories? Like something triggers something in your mind to race back in time to relive a specific moment. The trigger could be a smell, a sound, or even a place. Regardless of what initiates it, the result is the same: full momentary immersion in the past, either good or bad.



I had a moment like this last Friday while listening to the Phil Wickham sing-along CD; the song...Beautiful. No really, not only is the song beautiful, but that's the name of it too ;) I don't know why but this song brought me back to last year. Ironically, it wasn't Easter, which I would have thought because last Easter was truly spectacular. (If you didn't know, it was baptism Sunday where two lovely friends, Aubrie and Trinity, were baptised. They played two of my favorite Phil songs and beautiful was one of them. It had been the first time in a long time previoiusly that I had truly experienced God's peace and joy). Anyways, I was not brought back to that, nor was I brought back to long car rides with Jesus, at least not initially. No, I was immediately surrounded by a specific smell, I think it was a sugar cookie candle (or some other candle), the smell of my apartment last year. I think this song reminded me of the apartment because I had gotten in the habit last year of taking study breaks to dance around my apartment, and this song as beautiful as it is aloud me to truly destress as I moved around the living room.

Sadly, however, this brief moment of peaceful reminiscence was quickly overshadowed by the memory of the silent suffering that plagued my existence last year. I was reminded of how quickly fear, doubt, and insecurity can consume my thoughts. The minute I start thinking that way is the minute that negative thoughts start popping up at an exponential rate.

Now, I am going to use a Harry Potter analogy (because that has been the world I've been lost in for the passed week). So, if you are anti-Potter feel free to skip this paragraph. Anyways, in the 5th book, Harry starts having dreams that connect him to the bad guy Voldemort. At first, he is scared of them, not knowing what they are. However, soon he starts not only accepting these negative visions, but believing they are true. It even gets to the point where Voldemort uses these negative thoughts to trick Harry and ultimately consume him. It is not until Harry gathers up the strength to remember the positive moments in life that he can finally cast our Voldemort's thoughts. See video below (towards the middle) to see Harry being possessed....



My point is, without the restoration that Christ has brought me through recent months, I would still fall victim to the all-consuming thoughts of insignificance. I'm not saying that I have happy, positive thoughts all the time, but I am just seeing the growth that has taken place in my life since last Winter. Life's still a struggle (in the words of Miley Cyrus "Life's a climb" haha) but to have peace through it all, that's what God has changed within me.

Now, my only fear is that this peace has brought complacency. Or worse, that is has simply buried my doubt deeper, just waiting to come back. But all I know is that I need not worry about that, for I have Jesus on my side to forever be my hope and strength. It may sound cliche, but I don't care. It's the truth, simple as that.



Peace :)